Joshua 1:9
Both boys passed the last level of swim lessons in February and were gifted a free month of swim team so we decided to try it. Both Curtis an I had our doubts that Calvin had actually fulfilled all of the requirements for the team, but couldn't hurt to try.
They both seemed eager as they put on their trunks and we headed out the door. Once in the door, it was an entirely different story. The instructor was going to have them get in the pool and perform different swimming techniques to see what they could do. Calvin started to jump up and follow her until he caught eye of William's hesitancy. He wasn't going to go without his brother, so he sat back down.
There's a bond between these two that truly is something special. Of course they fight occasionally like all brothers do, but they also gel together in a lot of areas. Part of what makes parenting them a joy. Unfortunately, they can also feed off of each other's weaknesses. Calvin adores and looks up this big brother more than they both realize. If William isn't gonna do it, most of the time Calvin won't either (even if he thinks he really might want to). As they grow and continue developing into their individual selves, I think this will occur less and less. But, right now, it's a struggle they have.
We spent the next hour at the pool, both boys hesitant and in tears over the whole deal. Inside, I felt horrible that they were so distraught over it all! It was supposed to be something fun!!
It wasn't until after we got back home that the real "moment" happened; one that made all our time at the pool worth it. We walked in the door and I could tell William was really thinking about things. Then I saw a tear come from his eye. I called him over to give him a hug. He hesitated but leaned in. I took his arms, wrapped them around me and told him to hold on tight. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and at that moment, his tears started flowing. This Mama heart wanted to bust. I hurt right along with him. This poor boy struggles so much internally with what he wants to do and doesn't think he can. He even told me, "Mom, I really do want to swim." Ugh...I told him that sometimes Satan uses the thoughts in our head to convince us of things that aren't true; that we have to choose to listen to God's voice that tells us we are strong because of Him.
After a long shower and some dinner, he snuggled in bed. Instead of our normal nightly devotions, I decided to lay with him in bed and I asked him to pick a word that he wanted to find a bible verse related to so that we could memorize it to start filling his mind with God's thoughts. After mentioning many words, he chose AFRAID. We searched on my bible app and read multiple verses that talked about being afraid. He chose Joshua 1:9.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
It isn't coincidence that William was given a stuffed lion when he was born with the words "Be strong and courageous" embroidered on it. Of the many stuffies we've given away over the years, this one still sits on his bed.
I love that he chose this verse. We talked about what it means when Joshua said 'commanded'; how it wasn't like it was a choice-it was a mandate. We committed to memorizing the verse (which will be no problem since this kids is memorizing 14verses at a time in school) so that whenever we feel afraid or discouraged, it can easily be pulled from memory.
This moment was such an insight into William's little heart. As frustrating as it can be as a parent to watch him sit, head between his knees, nervous and tearful with any new situation, this incident helped me see his heart behind it all. I recognized just how much of a battle goes on inside of him. We hope to give it one more try next Monday...
Calvin? Well, he decided to finally get in with two minutes left of the entire hour we were there. Funny kid. I could tell he was swimming with his entire might-giving it everything he had. When we got home he said, "Mom, I don't want any dinner. I swallowed so much water and I'm going to bed." I was so caught off guard. He had said nothing that made me think he struggled! And so, puke bucket by his bed, he showered, climbed in bed and fell asleep at 7pm. Rest assured, the little guy truly gave it his all. Despite his fears, he didn't give up.
It's these "little" moments that, although they feel big and heavy right now, I hope will make lasting differences in their future.
May God continue to grow their hearts to be strong and courageous in a way that only He can...
They both seemed eager as they put on their trunks and we headed out the door. Once in the door, it was an entirely different story. The instructor was going to have them get in the pool and perform different swimming techniques to see what they could do. Calvin started to jump up and follow her until he caught eye of William's hesitancy. He wasn't going to go without his brother, so he sat back down.
There's a bond between these two that truly is something special. Of course they fight occasionally like all brothers do, but they also gel together in a lot of areas. Part of what makes parenting them a joy. Unfortunately, they can also feed off of each other's weaknesses. Calvin adores and looks up this big brother more than they both realize. If William isn't gonna do it, most of the time Calvin won't either (even if he thinks he really might want to). As they grow and continue developing into their individual selves, I think this will occur less and less. But, right now, it's a struggle they have.
We spent the next hour at the pool, both boys hesitant and in tears over the whole deal. Inside, I felt horrible that they were so distraught over it all! It was supposed to be something fun!!
It wasn't until after we got back home that the real "moment" happened; one that made all our time at the pool worth it. We walked in the door and I could tell William was really thinking about things. Then I saw a tear come from his eye. I called him over to give him a hug. He hesitated but leaned in. I took his arms, wrapped them around me and told him to hold on tight. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and at that moment, his tears started flowing. This Mama heart wanted to bust. I hurt right along with him. This poor boy struggles so much internally with what he wants to do and doesn't think he can. He even told me, "Mom, I really do want to swim." Ugh...I told him that sometimes Satan uses the thoughts in our head to convince us of things that aren't true; that we have to choose to listen to God's voice that tells us we are strong because of Him.
After a long shower and some dinner, he snuggled in bed. Instead of our normal nightly devotions, I decided to lay with him in bed and I asked him to pick a word that he wanted to find a bible verse related to so that we could memorize it to start filling his mind with God's thoughts. After mentioning many words, he chose AFRAID. We searched on my bible app and read multiple verses that talked about being afraid. He chose Joshua 1:9.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
It isn't coincidence that William was given a stuffed lion when he was born with the words "Be strong and courageous" embroidered on it. Of the many stuffies we've given away over the years, this one still sits on his bed.
I love that he chose this verse. We talked about what it means when Joshua said 'commanded'; how it wasn't like it was a choice-it was a mandate. We committed to memorizing the verse (which will be no problem since this kids is memorizing 14verses at a time in school) so that whenever we feel afraid or discouraged, it can easily be pulled from memory.
This moment was such an insight into William's little heart. As frustrating as it can be as a parent to watch him sit, head between his knees, nervous and tearful with any new situation, this incident helped me see his heart behind it all. I recognized just how much of a battle goes on inside of him. We hope to give it one more try next Monday...
Calvin? Well, he decided to finally get in with two minutes left of the entire hour we were there. Funny kid. I could tell he was swimming with his entire might-giving it everything he had. When we got home he said, "Mom, I don't want any dinner. I swallowed so much water and I'm going to bed." I was so caught off guard. He had said nothing that made me think he struggled! And so, puke bucket by his bed, he showered, climbed in bed and fell asleep at 7pm. Rest assured, the little guy truly gave it his all. Despite his fears, he didn't give up.
It's these "little" moments that, although they feel big and heavy right now, I hope will make lasting differences in their future.
May God continue to grow their hearts to be strong and courageous in a way that only He can...
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